Channel 4's Documentary - The World's Oldest Mums

Last night, after the Miscarriage Support Group meeting, I could have used a mindless TV program to completely relax me, but I had been waiting to see the Channel 4 documentary "The World's Oldest Mums" all week. Being low-tech (read that as technology-idiot) I couldn't record it, but managed to catch it on Channel 4+1 at 10 p.m.  I had a special interest in what they would present, having written twice now about the new phenomenon of geriatric pregnancy.  The program presented the cases of Maria del Carmen Bousada and Jenny Brown, who have recently been in the news: the former for having died recently at 69, leaving two-year old twin boys and the latter, who is hunting worldwide for a fertility clinic that will impregnate her at the age of 72.

The film told me nothing new, of any great significance, about either of these women.  Maria del Carmen lamented that, she never got married or had any children until the age of 67 because it was her lot in life to care for her mother until she died at the age of 101. I don't buy it. What mother of that generation wouldn't have wanted her only daughter to get married and produce grandchildren? Was she enslaved to the care of this matriarch like a Cinderella-in-rags story, instead of having a life?  Maria travelled to California and lied about her age to get IVF treatment. She loved her twins and wanted to live for them, claiming that her overriding concern when she was struck with cancer, was what would happen to her boys. Why she didn't think of that earlier? At 67, there was a fairly good chance she would experience some of the illnesses of old age, possibly fatal. Within six months of giving birth, she was finding it difficult to care for them, having barely the energy to walk them in the stroller. The boys will be loved and cared for by Maria's nephew and his wife, but they won't know their birth mother; will have no real memories of their early life with her after a year or two.  Is it ethical for women of Maria's age and older, to have children solely to fulfil her own desires, disregarding the children's needs for as lengthy and full a relationship with their parents as possible?

On the other side of the world, in India, Amanda Blue interviewed the real "World's Oldest Mum" who has a 6-month old daughter at the age of 70.  She is breastfeeding the little girl, but endures great abdominal pain and bleeding since the cesaerian-section birth.  Her sister, Omwati, at 60 years old and with high blood pressure, is now going to have IVF to try to produce a son for the husband they share; the male child being the vital member of every family in their culture. The truly horrifying part of this segment, was Dr. Bishnoi's irritation with Ms. Blue's question about how ethical he considered impregnating a woman who was known to have an adverse medical condition.  He compared the risk to that of walking across the street or traveling in an airplane.  "Why are you emphasizing the risks?" was his counter-question, stating that as long as the woman gives informed consent it was alright. "The need for the family to have a baby far outweighs the risk to her (the mother's) life."

Finally, the film showed an American family, very much of the two decades spanning the milennium. In 1992, a 53 year old woman and her 33 year old second husband had IVF, using donor eggs, to have twin daughters.  At the time, there was an outcry about the menopausal mother being treated by a fertility clinic.  Now 16 years old, the girls have a 70 year old mother who goes to the gym for an hour a day to maintain her fitness, water-skis and is very "with it," in their words.  She wasn't a first-time mother, having had children in a previous marriage, so she had experience on her side, but it was apparent that she has to work hard to remain relevant to their youth. The girls were more unsettled from learning a few weeks ago that they were not her biological children than that they had an elderly mother. 

Where do we draw the line?  The documentary made the point that Western cultures do not accept the idea of reversing menopause to allow for pregnancy at any age, in contrast to India where there is no age limit and fertility clinics are doing booming business.  In India, being childless carries such a stigma that people will avoid speaking to the infertile woman.  That doesn't really exist in the West, although there may be a scattering of disapproval remaining among very old-fashioned folk. I wonder if people of Western cultures just find it abhorrent to see a woman with wrinkles and grey hair pregnant or breastfeeding an infant?  All of the women featured in the documentary looked their age, though the American super-mom appears physically strong and fit.

Admittedly, watching Jenny Brown hobble out of the

London

fertility clinic with her straggly grey ponytail, I felt relief that the consultant, Mohamed Menabawey had turned down her request for IVF with egg donation. I would like to think that I am not narrow-minded, but I felt entirely unconvinced that she had a good reason to give birth at 72, and frankly, I  found everything about her quest unappealing. If there were no other issues involved, I would swallow my distaste and refrain from subjective criticism of progressing medical technology being used in this way.  However, what matters more to me is the idea that older people will begin to have babies who have a fairly low chance of being raised and nurtured by them. 

I do not understand why someone would disregard their responsibility for the negative aspects of becoming a parent at 65, 70 or 72 to an infant: 1) the child very possibly being physically and/or financially burdened with their elderly parents at a young age and 2) the emotional trauma that may result from becoming parentless relatively early in their lives, especially where there was no other parental figure in their life. Are fertility clinics going to ask for financial statements that show the applicant has the financial means to take care of themselves as well as their children until they are in adulthood? Of course they aren’t. They aren’t even asking for evidence of the applicant’s age. Not every one has nephews willing and able to take on their babies if they die. It could result in a significant percentage of future generations not having the advantageous structure of a family unit. I have never advocated a lot of government regulation in this arena, but I am beginning to think that we may just be headed that way. This documentary raised questions, but gave no answers. As it is becoming a very "sexy" subject for the media, I doubt it will be the last film about The World's Oldest Mums.

 

Comments

[Baby Smiling In Back Seat]

Here from ICLW...

Last year I blogged about the 70-year old parents of twins in India. To me, there are so many bigger problems in that case than the possibility of the parents dying before the children grow up.
http://babysmiling.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/angry/

I'd like to imagine that most elderly Western people who might attempt to become parents will be free from most of those problems. I'd like to imagine it, but I am afraid that some of the same issues would persist regardless.

[WiseGuy]

Nice Post, and by the ring of it, not before long, Ms. Brown will land in India too.

A lot of fertility treatment ethics is fluid and open to interpretation.

If a woman did not deserve kids at 72, nor did Ms. Suleman need octuplets to take the tally to 14. Freaked out!

ICLW

[Kristin]

I honestly think the REs who willingly treat these 60 and 70 year old need to be members of the Secret Cabal of Rogue Reproductive Endocrinologists, otherwise known as S.C.O.R.R.E..

Your post was very well balanced and you did a great job avoiding the typical knee jerk reaction.

[Billy]

As you said - where do you draw the line. Because I agree that a woman of 70 who will most likely not make it to see her child become an adult, should not become a mother. I think that at a certain age, if a woman has not become a mother, than perhaps it was not to be. But then again, what should that age be? Very easy at the top range to say this is not right, but what about the bottom range?
I myself feel (at 39, not yet pregnant) that I will be an old mother, thinking how I'll be 60 when my child will (hopefully!) be 20. So where is the bottom limit..

ICLW

[Liddy]

The 72 year old does not need a child. Like Nadya did not need 14.

Stopping by for an ICLW visit...
No. 95: The Unfair Struggle (male-factor infertility, good friends, neighborhood rumblings)

[Beautiful Mess]

Happy ICLW!

I do my best not to judge people for their choices. Especially when it comes to family building, but it's hard to see the benefits of a woman in her 70's becoming pregnant. I don't see how it can be healthy for her or the baby(ies).

Great job on putting your thoughts out there. You did a nice job stating your opinion without looking "down" upon anyone.
*HUGS*

[Beautiful Mess]

I just wanted to pop over and say THANK YOU so much for your inspiring words on my post about going back to school. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate them and how you took the time to read and comment. I'm feeling less scared since typing it all out. Still a bit sad over not being able to share it with my mom but that will pass.

Thanks again!

[Surrogacy]

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

[Lisa]

Thanks for the encouragement! It's helpful to receive comments, so I appreciate you taking the time. L.

[IVF Clinic india]

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