Does the Recession Affect The Way We Spend on Our Children? Part 2

The Social Minefield of Birthday Parties – I confess to having a mildly sicky-stomach feeling when I find envelopes in my children’s school bags, out of which pop an average of two birthday invitations a week.  I have a new modus operandi; encouraging my children to go only to the parties of friends with whom they actually play, and hoping that not everyone on our own invitation list will actually accept. This isn't about liking the child or the mother; it's about

• the rest of the family losing out on a full day together at the weekend,
• the chaos of trying to be in two different places at one time, if another child has parties to go to as well,
• the time and money spent on birthday gifts,
• the silly trend of giving every child invited to your party a parting gift, as if attending a fun party wasn't enough of a treat in itself,
• the uncontrolled ingestion of a week's worth of sugar in two hours, and
• the cost of the party itself.

I have tested the waters a few times with a firm but friendly “I’m sorry, she can’t make it that day, but thanks for asking.” Putting it into practice is another thing entirely, as I discovered one day while watching my 5-year old son’s face as his classmates excitedly leave school for the party which we declined.  He is really too young to understand my economy-led pragmatism and take it on himself without regret. While discussing the birthday situation at dinner one evening, we practically fell off our chairs laughing when he announced “You know, Mum, I always like a good party.” No matter how careful I have to be, it’s good to be reminded that it’s not all about the money. For a child, it’s about feeling included, getting carried away in the euphoria of celebration and eating cake before dinner. Actually, we adults could use a little of that kind of fun too.  My tips are:

• Don't invite any more children than you and your partner can supervise on your own. Many parents use the 2-3 hours respite to do their shopping, or for quiet time at home. Either that, or ask a close friend or grandparent, ahead of time, if they will stay and help.
• Make up a theme for the party (some of ours have been fancy dress, pirates, castles, Ben10, High School Musical and this year's ancient Egypt). It provides a focus rather than chaos.
• If money is a real issue;

1. do your own invitations on the computer,
2. make the hours of the party between lunch and dinner, so you don't have to feed guests a meal. Keep food to crisps, juice and a slice of cake and coffee for adults,
3. don't invite siblings of guests. Just say "sorry, we don't have room for more than __."
4. make up your own party bags with something small, like a book, a set of pretty hair clips from H&M or a plastic action figure taken from a bulk set. Add a few chocolate kisses & your'e done,
5. give each child a balloon with a chocolate bar tied on to it's string instead or
6. break the trend and don't send a party bag at all.

• Let the kids make something like a tie-dyed t-shirt or a sand painting, as part of the party, that they can take home.
• Only invite 4 - 6 best friends and take them to do something fun like bowling, ice skating or, as we are doing this year for our soon-to-be 10 year old daughter: indoor rock climbing and a sleepover.
• Play old-fashioned games that parents can join in on, like Tug of War & sack races.

  

 

Do you have any tips for other parents on how to control the size and cost of your children's birthday parties, or how to handle the multitude of invitations? Share by leaving a comment.