It seems that everyone is stressed out these days. The recession has put many people in fear of losing their jobs, their businesses, their children's place at private school or summer camp, their holidays and even their home. Even if those major things in your life are not directly in danger, it's the mood that prevails. It's easy to think that you are alone, or worse off than someone else, or that this is only happening in your country, but financial insecurity has hit pretty much everywhere.
When I was visiting my parents in the U.S. this summer it was obvious that Americans were just as worried as the British people back home. University places, at top schools there, now run about $50,000 a year. Families that would never normally consider allowing their children to opt out of a degree program may suddenly wish they would consider starting a dot.com business out of their garage instead. Those ready to retire may not feel as confident that their investment income will see them through the next 15 - 25 years. Coupon cutting and actually checking the bill are back with a vengeance.
Panic generally clouds the issues and often ends up costing us time and money. Panic, underlying fear and marital arguments all add up to stress. We all need to slow down the runaway train and find a level of clarity from which we can make reasonable, informed decisions. I'll be revisiting the issue of stress every once in a while, but here I will look at how to de-stress by easing off on the commitments we all make and very possibly could do without.
1. Take a good look at your commitments, financial or otherwise. Speaking to friends, I realize that some of the most often cited sources of stress come from the extras we have piled on top. Over-commitment can occur in our professional affiliations, our social life, fitness, and our reliance on restaurants, taxis, gadgets and other creature comforts. We can become so accustomed to these extras that we begin to see them as essentials. In fact, if someone else queried their necessity, we might very well react defensively. However, you can take an objective look at your commitments and how much they are costing you in time and money, or a life coach could guide you through a Values Assessment Exerciseand help you interpret the results.
2. Are you over-committed socially too? Do you really need a new outfit for every occasion? Are you spending enormous sums on babysitting? Try saying no to a few invitations. You may feel very true to yourself and the bonus is that it usually releases you from the burden of reciprocating. If you have close friends who you rarely see, you could invite them over for a cosy, low-cost dinner of pasta, salad, store-bought wine, fruit and ice cream and be a lot more fun than you remember. The children (theirs & yours) could be excited to watch a DVD together and you can spread out in the living room, giving you extra hours together instead of being coaxed to leave a restaurant. You have saved on the bill, the babysitter, the outfit, the transportation, the manicure, etc...
3. Are you spending large amounts on annual memberships to professional, social and/or health & fitness clubs that are not paying you back enough to warrant keeping them up? These memberships can represent a hefty chunk of your annual overhead. How often do you use them? Have you received any business through the networking club? If the bill is paid by your employer as a perc, consider volunteering to end an association that isn't benefiting your business. It may win you some points with the boss or be taken into account in relation to a pay cut. Consider the cost of annual membership against the cost of occasionally attending as a guest of another member. Ultimately, ask yourself if you would really miss it if it wasn't there?
4. Do you keep using the same services: landscape gardener, hair salon, mechanic, manicurist, dry cleaner or airline even though you have heard of others that give a better deal? If you can't bear to switch, out of loyalty, habit or embarrassment (not a very good reason), ask if they can work fewer hours or give you a discount to match the better deal. If they refuse to make any concessions in exchange for your continued business, don't feel guilty about taking it elsewhere.
5. Are you trying to keep up with the "Joneses:" your neighbours, colleagues and friends? Someone has to be the first and bravest to demonstrate cutting back. Besides, many will be admiring you for your good sense and then sharing what they have done too. It's almost like a reverse snobbery in effect. In the U.S., this also includes showing your Green credentials; trade in the gas guzzling car for the swish, new Prius cars.
6. Do you overspend on gifts? Most people are guided by what they gave and received in previous years, but all bets are off in the current economy. You could let everyone know that you will only be giving to the children in the family this year, or that this Christmas there will be a combined Family Gift; like a Kindle book reader, passes to Legoland, a game for the Wii or a gift certificate to the cinema or theatre. Just think how much time, let alone money, will be saved in not running around trying to find gifts for cousins, brothers-in-law, or picky sisters. For birthday and anniversary gifts between friends and partners, consider giving each other a long lunch out somewhere nice so you can enjoy their company. After all, we probably have too many "things" in our life and precious little space.
While I'm on the subject of Christmas, firms can easily dispense with the annual boozy Christmas party and the departmental long lunches out at a restaurant. It's not that I am a Scrooge, truly. I just think that with so many businesses anxious about their cash flow, a little champagne and some gorgeous cakes, combined with a department store voucher tucked into Christmas cards, might be just what everyone needs this year.
7. Does your cash seem to disappear from your wallet and you don't know where it has gone? Try this: 1) Take out a sum of cash that should last you a week and do not revisit the ATM in the meantime. 2) Then, for one week, total up how many times you have met a friend for lunch out, stopped at Starbuck's for a cappuccino, picked up a few magazines and a lottery ticket while paying for petrol, or put expensive condiments in your trolley. How many days did your cash last? It isn't for me to say what is unnecessary for anyone else; my Italian roast coffee is someone else's lager. Just don't be in denial of where the money goes. For me, that meant that the weekly fresh flowers that make my heart sing and add another tenner to the pot became a monthly treat instead.
There is a lot of truth to the saying "out of sight, out of mind." If you cut something out of your schedule or off your shopping list for a month, there is a very good chance that you will not miss it after the first few weeks. It's like going on a sensible diet and giving up the mayonnaise and whipped cream. Be kind to yourself. Don't slash and burn. Provide yourself with alternatives if necessary, or just revel in the newly rediscovered time for reading, walking, being with friends, cooking or whatever relaxes you. Reducing your commitments can actually feel like a relief, give you back precious freedom of choice and make your bank balance look a bit healthier sooner than you think.
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