Thanksgiving in a Foreign Land

If you are a regular visitor to my blog, you will know that I am an American living long-term in London.  People on both sides of the Atlantic ask me all the time what made me decide to move here, whether I like living in the UK, miss America, plan to stay or move "home" and why I haven't lost my American accent after 14 years here. 

I do miss doing American things in America, but have found over the years that there is little point in trying to recreate the lifestyle, the education, the philosophy of preventive medicine, the social network and the holidays of the U.S.A. in England. It's never more apparent than at Thanksgiving and Independence Day (July 4th); two American brands that don't transfer.  My children don't get a special day off from school for either holiday, as you might imagine.  My husband schedules "essential" appointments for that day and then says sorry, rather than the other way around.  On my very first Thanksgiving here, in 1995, he realized that I was a bit homesick that day and took me to Ed's Easy Diner on the King's Road for a green-chile cheeseburger and a real coffee milkshake. We sat on barstools, talked to the owner over the counter and fell a little bit more in love.

We have humorous memories of times when we have invited English people to join us in celebrating my traditions. The very first party held in our house was a Santa Fe-style Christmas Eve, complete with New Mexican food, farolitas - the paper bags filled with sand and a lit candle lined our driveway, walk and garden walls.  So many people responded to the invitation, saying that they had no idea what New Mexican food was, that I made posters for the wall above the buffet table, explaining how to fill and roll a burrito, what was in the black bean soup, the fact that green and red chile sauce had nothing in common with tomato-ey TexMex chili made with chopped beef and pinto beans. Some people embraced the spirit of the evening and some stuck to the baked potatos with cheese and sour cream. We listened to Gypsy Kings, Gloria Estefan and Cuban music.  Well, I enjoyed it, but wouldn't necessarily do it again.

Then, there was the time that I had a garden party for the 4th of July, complete with Martha Stewart-inspired ice bowls with wildflowers trapped in the ice, to hold the cubes of melon. The red, white & blue jello looked decidedly unappetizing. We had hot dogs with my specially sourced Gulden's mustard, sour garlic pickles and sauerkraut that I had to travel to find in Israeli  and German shops. We had about 2 dozen hot dogs left over and no one guest touched the mustard, pickles or sauerkraut.  Unfamiliar. "Better not."

Now, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to list a few things, off the top of my head, for which I feel thankful:

1. My friend Jackie, an English woman with Israeli heritage, who took me out to dinner tonight for baby back ribs and chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream instead of turkey, which would be impossible to find. Jackie and her husband James also invited us a few years back to a Thanksgiving dinner, which they hosted for their 4 American friends. We all brought a dish and mine were stuffing and chocolate pecan pie.
2. The acceptance I have finally reached about my family's lack of interest in my nostalgia about American life.  This year, I didn't hint, demand, beg or get upset about our lack of a Thanksgiving. I just went with the flow...no resentment, no arguments...no tears, and I feel okay with it.
3. The excitement I feel about my refreshed business plan; expanding the reach of my fertility coaching business to include additional services and products in 2010.
4. Becoming a part of womens' business networks in my local area. The Stanmore and Northwood chapters of Athena have provided me with training, support, new ideas, contacts and a focal point for my month between meetings. One of the best decisions I made in 2009 was to join this group.
5. The funny things my children say, that offset the naughty (cheeky) things they do. Today, my 6 year old son announced that he was moving out of my house when he is 19. Why 19?  "Because after 19, I will be 20, which is almost like grown-up, and you can't live with your Mummy when you're a grown up." "Oh, Mum? I'm never getting married." Why?  "I just don't ever want to..." Okay. You might change your mind someday.  "I won't."
6. My parents were invited to  be with our friend Joan and her family today, so that they wouldn''t be alone today.   
   
7. The positive feedback I have been getting for my writing, coaching and ideas 
8. And now, for the tiny bits that, added together, make my day to day life workable, pleasurable and fulfilling, in no particular order: books, chocolate, coffee, computers, the Sunday Times, blogging, my heated mattress pad, my husband doing the ironing, the volunteer work I do, cookbooks, watching X Factor with the family on Saturday nights, having fun with twitter, Clarins skin care range, maintaining my firm stance on (no) pets, and more. Did I say chocolate? Yes, and red wine, knowing how to cook, singing in the car with everyone joining in, getting into blackberry and apple crumble season, the colour of autumn leaves.