Why is it important for us to know that celebrities like Emma Thompson suffer with infertility? Yesterday's Daily Telegraph carried an article, by Gordon Rayner - Chief Reporter, about the actress Emma Thompson's depression over the failure of multiple IVF attempts to have a second child in her early forties. Thompson and her husband, Greg Wise, already had one daughter, Gaia, but wanted more children. Several cycles of IVF failed to fulfill their dream.
Infertility strikes indiscriminately, without regard for who you are, how many children you dream of having or how much money you have. A beautiful, talented, wealthy actress has no edge over the rest of us merely beautiful women when it comes to the tricks that our reproductive systems can play in the baby-making game. Thompson is quoted in the article as saying that she was so devastated by her inability to conceive that she was unable "to get dressed or leave her house" some days. I'm sure that a lot of you can relate to that feeling, as I can.
The difference, perhaps, between Emma's situation and many other women, is that she was able to afford to pay for several cycles of IVF in her forties, beyond the age of entitlement to NHS fertility treatment. Having suffered from depression on previous occasions, Emma sought counselling and was treated with prescription antidepressants during this difficult time. She continues to see her therapist weekly. This, in itself, is helpful for infertile women to hear. Knowing that someone you may admire has had emotional support for the feelings associated with infertility can persuade a depressed, stressed or merely confused person to seek help themselves. It can help validate their feelings, make them accept that there is a problem and hopeful to know that it is one which can be helped.
The name given to an inability to conceive after having a child is secondary infertility. It's a shame that the Telegraph article didn't mention that, because people who read the article just because it's about Emma Thompson, could be made aware that this is a medical condition. A woman who has one child and hasn't conceived another, may seek help from her doctor as a result. Others, who wonder why a couple has only had one child may realize that it is not necessarily by choice and be careful about insensitive remarks they may otherwise have made.
There can be the tendency, whenever someone is struck ill or a medical condition arises that appears to be random and particularly unfair: Why me? We think that it doesn't make sense. We look at ourselves and wonder what we did to deserve this. I'm sure that Emma Thompson had these thoughts while she was struggling with secondary infertility. There is no answer to this question. No one deserves it. Sometimes, the way life unfolds answers the question in unexpected ways. Emma later went on to adopt a 16-year old Rwandan boy, a former child-soldier, in 2003. The Telegraph quotes her as saying that it convinced her that it was "probably a good thing" she hadn't become pregnant again.
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