This morning on the Lorraine show (ITV), the presenter interviewed a woman, Gillian, by satellite from New York regarding the couple's choice to freeze their embryos at age 30 for a pregnancy later in life. The twist was that this couple is young, healthy and fertile. Gillian spoke about not being ready to become a mother and thinking that she and her husband would perhaps be ready to use the frozen embryos at around age 40. She wants to be more settled, with a higher level of income/assets. Is there ever a perfect time to become a parent?
Some of the questions brought up by Lorraine Kelly and Dr Hilary Jones were:
- Is a child born to wealthier, "more settled" parents likely to be aware of, or any happier because of their parents' financial status?
- Is there ever a perfect time to become a parent?
- How Gillian would feel if, upon readiness, she finds herself unable to conceive, even with the frozen embryos used?
- How Gillian and her husband would feel if their frozen embryo resulted in a handicapped or special-needs child, because the safety/stability of long-term frozen embryos is unknown?
- What Gillian and her husband would do if they never felt ready to become parents and had frozen embryos in storage?
This was an unsatisfying interview for me, with questions hanging in the air and few definitive answers. I'm sure that Gillian and her husband thought about what they are doing very seriously, but the choice itself seemed an extravagant and frivilous one to me. They are healthy, fertile people of childbearing age, spending a lot of money and using a facility meant to help infertile people have a chance at becoming parents, for the sake of lifestyle convenience. Yes, the medical science is there to achieve the delayed pregnancy. No, they aren't taking anything away from anyone else. But, it doesn't sit well with me, in the same way as using a surrogate so you don't gain weight or get stretch marks wouldn't sit well. Perhaps it's because there are so many couples who would bear that child at any age if they could, regardless of convenience, and can't. Perhaps it's because it's down to money, which this couple clearly has to spare and so many who need it, don't.
Where do you sit on this issue? Please leave a comment below.
I didn't watch the interview so I write this without knowing this couple or their exact situation. I do get a bit nervous, as an infertile patient, when I hear about fertile couples using reproductive technology in order to have more choice when it comes to family building, just as I am skeptical of fertility clinics who advertise services like gender selection to fertile couples for 'family balancing'. These services seem boutique and market driven rather than providing therapeutic medical treatment to people diagnosed with infertility. I worry about those of us who have no insurance coverage for infertility in such a market. However, drawing lines of distinction between reasons for pursuing fertility preservation is tricky. I can't say that fertility preservation is fine for young cancer patients but questionable for couples or individuals that for whatever reason, are not ready to parent. I can say that for myself, I wish I had realized five years earlier that the 'perfect time to become a parent' does not exist.
Visiting from ICLW.
Posted by: Jill | January 27, 2011 at 05:35 PM