Do You Know How To SWOT? It can be an effective coaching tool for couples with fertility issues

You may have heard of a SWOT analysis in a business context, but did you know that you can use it effectively in a personal context as well? In business, a SWOT may be used to plan future projects, change of assignments or revamping of an advertisement campaign. The SWOT analysis would be the framework for collaborative team discussions of the options; laying out their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

This morning I posted a Fertility Support Tip (#16) on Twitter that said "To better manage your expectations of, and go with, any fertility treatment, sit down as a couple and do a SWOT list." In this case, I am suggesting that the couple is the team, and the options may be different paths toward the goal, which is to have a child and create or add to their family. A SWOT analysis of an emotional subject won't necessarily be easy, but it could help them make some major, life-changing decisions about the direction their relationship and their family goes. 

The basic model is to examine the potential in terms of its:

• Strengths; which will ideally be maintained or maximized
• Weaknesses; which will hopefully be improved upon, but at the very least, won't be worsened
• Opportunities; which is the range of benefits that could, or most likely would arise as a result of taking specific action. and
• Threats; which are both the obstacles which must be overcome and/or the likelihood of negative, harmful or hurtful results of taking that action.

I believe that the key to its effectiveness in the area of infertility, is in the couple doing the SWOT analysis together. While one person could do a SWOT list for an individual goal or project, if a couple do separate lists for the same goal, they will have to work much harder to bring their lists into alignment. Each must trust the other to be open, honest and committed to:

1. having each other's best interest at heart
2. wanting their relationship to be enhanced and strengthened, and
3. finding a result that they can both agree on.

If the couple is in the early stages of discovering their infertility, there may be emotions such as sadness, confusion and fear involved , but also more of a belief in a positive outcome and therefore, a good chance that they could approach the SWOT as a research and brainstorming session. This exercise could be a simple gathering of information and assigning it to the different categories in order to do a reality check of where they stand.  It is, however, very subjective, so I wouldn't be surprised to hear that in some cases, what one half of the couple thinks is an opportunity, will be a threat to the other.  It could depend upon their unique view of what makes a parent, how much a pregnancy is worth in terms of financial outlay, or how much stress each can handle.

Further on, the stakes are higher, the window of opportunity to become pregnant is smaller and the cumulative stress is greater.  It might be very daunting to a couple that is already deeply in turmoil over their decision to try fertility treatment, choose between a medical or alternative route to pregnancy, stop treatment, allow for the option to use a 3rd party egg or sperm donation, consider surrogacy or adoption, or remaining childless.  Their emotional state may include low self-esteem, blame, guilt, resentment and desperation. In those cases, I suggest that the couple do the SWOT analysis as a part of a broader Values Assessment exercise under the guidance of a coach or counselor. As a fertility coach, I am there to facilitate the couple's examination of difficult issues they may be afraid to bring up for fear of hurting each other. I am also the impartial voice in the room, to ensure that they are each being heard, staying on course, and not slipping into negative territory, lessening the trust and cooperative spirit between them.

Back up, for a second, to my tweet about managing expectations. What that means is balancing your beliefs, hopes and prayers against the cold reality of success rates for people with your same situation: health, age, lifestyle, medical history, procedure used, etc..., then adding in other factors, such as access to funding or private source of funds to pay for treatment, and the amount of time you can realistically devote to your attempts to conceive. Then, on top of all this, you must consider the strength of your relationship, and the effects of your efforts upon any children you may already have.  Aaahhh, yes, it's those strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats again.

Comments

[theworms]

Great suggestions.

ICLW

[Mrs. Gamgee]

Interesting... thanks for sharing!

~ICLW