- Q: How common is a miscarriage as late as 6 months?
- A: Very rare. Only about 1% of losses fall into the category of "late miscarriage," which is from 13 to 24 weeks of pregnancy. From 25 weeks on, when a baby has a good chance of surviving outside the womb, a loss is called a stillbirth.
- Q: Why does it matter whether it was a late miscarriage or a stillbirth? The loss is the same.
- A: Because stillbirths are recorded by the Registrar in the UK, there is a legal document that validates the existence, however brief, of your baby. It may matter to the parents emotionally, to have that validation.
- Q: If you miscarry once, does that mean you are more likely to miscarry in a subsequent pregnancy?
- A: With early miscarriages, there is a very good chance that your next pregnancy will be a healthy one. Predicting the health of a future pregnancy will depend on whether the cause of the earlier miscarriage is known. If so, the woman can often be treated to reduce the chance of another miscarriage. If it is an unexplained miscarriage, it may have been a case of bad luck; something that would generally not repeat itself. Only about 1% of women have recurrent miscarriage, which is generally defined as 3 or more.
- Q: Are Lily Allen's 2 miscarriages related to each other?
- A: Not knowing her medical history, it's impossible for me to say. However, as she was reportedly given the all-clear at her 3-month scan, the same time at which she had her 1st miscarriage, I think it's unlikely. The causes of early and late miscarriage are not usually the same. She would have been checked numerous times for the problems detected in the first pregnancy.
- Q: Could her popstar lifestyle have been the cause of her miscarriage?
- A: By all accounts, Lily Allen really wanted this baby. Having miscarried before, she said that she had re-evaluated her priorities; happy with "normality" and starting a family, rather than fame. The fact that she cancelled her gig at Elton John's bash over the weekend suggests that she ws protecting her pregnancy from the first signs of trouble. Whatever her celebrity status, it sounds like the action of a responsible mother-to-be. Regardless, I don't like the idea of playing the blame game when it comes to a devastating event like the loss of a child.
- Q: The news reports said that Lily Allen had severe stomach cramps from a viral infection. Can you really miscarry from a stomach virus?
- A: Some viral or bacterial infections contracted by the mother can pass through the placenta and infect the fetus, potentially causing miscarriage. One example is listeria, which comes from contaminated food. However, what was reported as stomach cramps could actually have been unexpected, premature labour.
- Q: I can't imagine the magnitude of that kind of loss. What would a couple be feeling immediately after a miscarriage at this stage of the pregnancy?
- A: Initially, just as with any unexpected death of a loved one, they will probably experience shock and a possible feeling of numbness. In Lily Allen's case, the shock and confusion will be a result of believing they were beyond risk at that point. There may be a brief period of denial that the baby is actually gone. Grief usually passes through several stages, though not always in the same order. The other stages are pain and guilt, anger, depression/loneliness, an upward turn, re-balancing and looking at options, acceptance and hope.
- Q: How can someone support a person who has had a miscarriage?
- A: Some people will internalize their pain more and others will behave in a more outward show of emotion. What they will have in common is the need for people to respect their privacy when they want to grieve alone and to be there when they want company and empathy. Lily Allen and her partner have the added burden of celebrity status, which will undoubtedly cause their every move to be scrutinized, however, they too deserve privacy. Whether you are close to the couple or just know them a little, a sincere gesture of support is ususally fine. Don't take it personally if they do not take you up on it. They may have many offers of help, or not be ready to accept it. Practical help will allow them to focus on each other: drop off a cooked dinner, do the grocery shopping, make some phone calls on their behalf or go with her to a doctor's appointment. Emotionally, it's much the same. Be respectful of their state of readiness to talk about their feelings; don't push for them to talk and don't avoid the subject when they bring it up. If they know that you are there for them, they will let you know when they are ready to make use of your support.
- Q: Where can people who have had a miscarriage go for help?
- A: I coach people who have suffered miscarriage in private sessions, where they will find a safe environment for their feelings, get focused attention on their needs, receive empathy and support, be able to explore their options, restore their sense of control and move forward. You can phone me on 011-44 (0)20 8954 2897 or email me at [email protected]
Other sources of support are:
- www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk. - The Miscarriage Association, a national charity, has a staffed office 9:30 - 4:30 M-F, an out-of-hours Volunteer Helpline 4:30 - 10:30 M-F and at weekends, and several support groups. I lead the North London Miscarriage Support Group, which meets monthly and is free of charge. Contact 01924 200799 for more details.
- www.uk-sands.org - Sands is a charity that funds research into, and supports those dealing with, stillbirth and neonatal death.
- www.savethebabyunit.org - The Save the Baby Unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Paddington, London investigates and treats miscarriage. It is headed by Prof. Lesley Regan, who authored the book Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know.
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Posted by: pregnancy quiz | July 25, 2011 at 07:12 AM