How many different internet messageboards and forums do you belong to? They all sound so good when you discover them, that you think, "it's free, it's fun, so why not?" Well, first of all, unless you use your real name, the same password and the same email address for each of them, there's the chaos of trying to remember them all. I don't do that, for various reasons that include wanting to join some as a practitioner of fertility coaching and some just as myself in various guises: woman, American, UK resident, mother, writer, life coach, consumer, etc... When I last looked at my list of usernames and passwords, it was 4 pages long. There are probably a few I could ditch now, as I have my favourites, but you never know when you might need them.
There are some less than wonderful things about messageboards and forums too. My "bottom" three are the temptation they present when I am supposed to be doing other things, the range of personalities you encounter (yes, it's a paradox) and the validity of some of the information/opinions presented as fact.
When it comes down to it, the temptation is my own problem. My need for caffeine or fresh air, boredom, back pain and addictive behaviour can be fed or alleviated in so many ways. However, these days they tend to be kicked under the rug by the lazy little devil on my shoulder that only wants to surf the message boards to see who has been on that I "know," whether I have inspired any comments or answers to my questions or released an amusing little tidbit that makes me laugh out loud in the quiet of my office. Compared to my other temptation, the refrigerator, it seems the better choice. The biggest problem is that I am regularly getting at least 1 - 2 hours less sleep per night as I light up the screen one more time when I should be climbing the stairs.
The personalities. I could start writing and not stop until January. There are the ever-present, self-appointed mother hens who become nearly legendary for the number of fans, followers and acolytes they attract. It's like the Pied Piper, who only has to post to attract a few dozen comments. I imagine a hush settling and tension rising as people catch a glimpse of this revered regular's newest post on screen. Okay, I'm joking (a little); there have been wonderful stories about people reading about positive, life-changing cures, epiphanies and solutions. But it is true that certain highly self-confident and opinionated posters can be wrongly seen as experts, as in educated, trained & qualified, and their pronouncements treated as truth or fact rather than opinion or personal experience. What worries me most is that someone who is in need of medical or financial advice (or just needy) could be relying upon it to their eventual detriment, which is where my 3rd "con"cern came from. In the worlds of fertility and health, where I tread, taking an untrained person's opinion could delay time-sensitive medical treatment that could have been effective.
It's not necessarily the personality's fault; he or she may truly believe in what they are posting, may have been blessed with a charisma that attracts many or just be trying to help. It would be easy for someone in that position to be really pumped up by the sense that they have made a lot of friends online and are important to other people's lives. A few egomaniacs have been created and if you have been around the messageboards and forums enough, you probably can think of a few. Who can blame them, with hundreds or thousands hanging on their every word? Well, actually, many people who are in that position don't take advantage of their popularity, or even take it seriously. That is my favourite online personality: the person that has something to contribute, keeps it simple and sincere and has a wicked sense of humour as the cream on top.
With the new Twitter lists, I have one that is private, labelled Eccentrics. This is where I will group my guilty pleasures; those who have a certain perspective on life that I enjoy, but don't rely upon or consider friends. On Facebook, I have un-friended people who post too much mundane detail about their schedule or itinerary and anyone who tries to sell too much, too often. On my coaching forums, I employ the option to have comments emailed to me, so I can screen and delete posts by my least favourite, the overblown egos, without opening them. On fertility, health and parenting forums, I try to present a balanced view, encouraging people to check things out and giving them links to information they can assess themselves.
To end on a positive note, I have to say that I am far more enriched by messageboards and forums than I ever thought I would be. I am constantly educating myself through the generosity of links to articles, studies and blog posts I never would have accessed on my own. I use them as sources, much like I would use a glossary or an index. I have made valuable business contacts through them, via the private contact mechanisms available. I have found friends I had lost over the years and reconnected with them. I have kept in touch with what certain political, social and academic institutions are doing. Most valuable of all are the new friendships I have made over the years, which transcended the confines of the cyber-forum to become real, telephone and face-to-face relationships. I'm not giving the messageboards or forums up any time soon.
Note: An excellent article on this subject for conceiveonline, Managing the Message Boards by Suzanne Schlosberg, can be found at http://bit.ly/msgbrds.
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